Blog Archive: November 2004
Vote MacDougal in 2004!
Election day is nearly upon us, and most of the media and the U.S. population consider the presidential election to be a dead heat. Not the Nonmortals, though. MacDougal, everyone's favorite ear of corn, will reign supreme these next four years as president of the United States of America. We're voting for him. And on November 2nd, you will vote for him too.

Some consider MacDougal to be a dark horse candidate, but when he is ruling this country with an iron fist these next four years, you'll be sorry you ever doubted him. Current polls estimate that MacDougal currently has 0.0000000001% of the popular vote in the United States right now, but the key word here is estimate. Those polls have a very high margin of error. For example, the pollsters neglected to include the millions of Chinese tourists who will be turning out on election day to vote for everyone's favorite ear of corn.

MacDougal is running on the Nonmortals ticket, with vice presidential candidate B.I.M. -- a malfunctioning computer manufactured in the mid-eighties. He is known for his strong stance on the issues of silliness, buffoonery and outright slapstickery, which many disillusioned voters hold in high regard. (As far as other issues like Iraq, homeland security, abortion and taxes, MacDougal has released a firm "no comment" -- surely evidence that he has such a strong plan for the country that no one need question his judgment.)

Sound like the candidate for you? We're sure he is. So on election day, make sure you write in "MacDougal" on your ballot, and turn it in with a smile. And while you're at it, go back in and vote as a few hundred of your dead relatives too. MacDougal will win this election -- there's no stopping him!

Posted By Pete on 01 Nov 2004 10:49:15 EST | Permalink

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